fuck my life

i've had 2 of these thinks before. one on xanga, one on livejournal. all i know is that i don't really like looking at them because they were from the past. and it's unfortunate, but i don't really care to ever remember them. i hated my life when i was a teenager. i kind of still do now, but i've learned to deal. i don't understand why some people just have it so easy and other people have it rough. i'm not just talking about financially even. just life. some people are handed a lot of shit, and other people just come out of their mothers womb with no problems and everyone thinks they're cool. 2007 was the best year of my life... and 2008 has DEFINITELY been the worst. i hated turning 20. my sister moved to another country never to be seen again. my mom decided to hate me. my dad lost his job and i found out he had some spotting of cancer cells. i dropped out of school and moved back home after ending my brief career as a stripper. and all the sudden i turned into the people i hated. the type of lying shitty people that let their friends down. and i feel like a ugly retard most the time. i just feel like there is no place for me in this world, and there never will be. i feel like i'm behind a glass window just watching everyone. no matter how many people i know, i'll always feel alone. this world is just kind of shitty and lonely. but this isn't an "emo" post. this is more just me saying fuck it. fuck everything. i'm at war with the world. and i don't even care to make peace. fuck the economy, fuck our retard government, and fuck everyone. don't even care.